The last chapter was Getting Radical, and this chapter begins the final section of the book, which could be called Getting Practical. Here, Alcorn gives guidelines to help us take the principles we’ve learned so far and figure out how to really put them into practice.
Risking isolating singles (although the next chapter is for couples and parents), Alcorn honestly takes aim at a burgeoning segment of the American population by pleading for disciplined guidelines. He also doesn’t shy away from drawing some lines, including logically deducing that since sexual intercourse outside of marriage is sin, then so is foreplay that “designed by God to culminate in sexual intercourse.” I think he’s right that this isn’t legalistic! If our chief concern is not to have too many restrictions, then of course this smacks of legalism. But if we are aiming at purity to obey and glorify God, then it just makes sense to do whatever it takes to not initiate something that will likely lead to sexual intercourse. Of course, this means being honest with ourselves and with others.
Alcorn insists on choosing friends wisely before closing the short chapter with some pointers for dating, starting with the fact that it’s an option to date, not a necessity. Despite the social pressure looming all around us, we shouldn’t jump into something that is largely shaped by media and immature expectations! The pointers come from a 16 page list Alcorn and his wife developed for their daughters and their significant others! Here’s my favorites:
- Focus on talk, not touch; conversation, not contact.
- Avoid setups–never be alone: on a couch, in a car late at night, in a house or bedroom.
- Beware of the “moral wear down” of long dating relationships and long engagements. Once young people and parents agree on marriage, it’s dangerous to wait longer than necessary (see 1 Corinthians 7:8-9).
Really, the best part of this chapter is that it even exists! Guidelines and rules are often despised and dismissed as outdated, restrictive and prudish. But instead we should think of them as guides to a goal: purity!
Great post Andrew! The rules/lists make a lot more sense when we remember that the rules and lists aren’t the goal, they’re a means to protect our efforts at purity.