Today is Valentines Day! Quite frankly, that brings mixed emotions. I love this day and the opportunity to celebrate the love and marriage my wife and I share. She is an amazing woman and I thank God every day for bringing us together. However, what the world does with this day often makes me a bit sick to my stomach. Our culture has chosen to tie so much sexual content to this day that is usually outside of the God created, highest commitment of marriage. This shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature and purpose of sex.
Think about our culture. . . the movie 50 Shades of Grey was released to coincide with Valentines Day. This is despicable as this movie has nothing to do with love the way God created it to be. I have not seen the movie, will not see the movie, and will not read the book and I would challenge you to be Men of the Sword and stand for the same. The summaries are enough for us to know that this should not interest us and is incredibly damaging for a true, genuine understanding and experience of good sex that God created in the beauty of marriage. In fact, the very appeal of a story like this to the world shows the emptiness of pursuing a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Sex always has to go to the next level, or include things completely dishonoring to excite more and more when it is devoid of the emotional soul bond of marriage. Remember the window test we talked about on Sunday a few weeks ago. Would I be comfortable with my neighbor looking in my window at me doing these things and would it be ok with watching my neighbor do these things. If that were to happen with the things in this movie, you would be thrown in jail, yet so many are ok with watching others in this behavior on the screen. Understand, it doesn’t matter if they are married or on a trajectory to marriage, it is still completely out of line to watch and once watched, the damage and thoughts cannot be undone. So, let’s stay away and not even come close to dragging Jesus, whom we are one with, to this porn. (1 Cor 6:15)
Why does it matter? Some might say that sex is just another bodily function and that purity doesn’t matter. This is the heart of what Alcorn talks about in chapter 3 of the Purity Principle. We are reminded right from the start that sexual sin is “qualitatively different” than other sins. That is because sex is not just something we do, but someone we are. 1 Cor 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” One of the powerful things about sex is that God created it to be a good and beautiful soul union. (1 Cor 6:16-17) Mal 2:15 says, “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?” Men, our commitment to purity needs to see god-given sex as a soul-union. That’s a big deal!
Because of the deep nature of the sexual union, it has incredible power for good if used properly, or bad if abused. Alcorn says, “Sex is incredibly powerful; it’s able to do immense good . . . or immense harm.” His illustration of fire either in a fireplace or campfire or fire “set free” burning down a forest resonates with me. Today, Susie and I and the kiddos drove around the devastation of a forest fire we barely missed earlier this year. We turned down a road and saw foundation after foundation of what used to be homes . . . lives. The only thing still standing were fireplaces. Fireplaces that were designed to harness the power of fire for good, but did not have that opportunity because fire was set free. There were cars burned out and remnants of kitchens. Some had started to rebuild, but some were left untouched. Just as fire outside of boundaries is devastating, so sex outside of the good boundaries of marriage devastates relationships, families, and even future marriages. But as Alcorn reminds us, God can rebuild if we follow Him!
Prov 6:27-28 (ESV) Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?
The next section talks about those boundaries God created for sexual union. It is designed for use only within the permanent commitment of marriage. Alcorn says,
“Apart from marriage, the lasting commitment is absent. So the sex act becomes a lie. Sex is a privilege inseparable from the responsibilities of the sacred marriage covenant. To claim the privilege apart from the responsibility perverts God’s intention. Every act of sex outside of marriage cheapens both.”
That deserves a wholehearted “Amen!” Men, these guardrails are given by God for protection, but also for joy. Any sex act, including porn, outside of the marriage covenant is a lie and cheapens Gods great gift.
Alcorn’s next point is that purity is clearly God’s will and something we must discipline ourselves to do. 1 Thes 4:3-5 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;” I appreciated the challenge to discipline ourselves to purity. He writes, “Resisting temptation is a gutsy, courageous, stubborn refusal to violate God’s law. It’s repeatedly calling upon Christ for the strength to say no to the world, the flesh, and the devil – to say yes to God instead.” So do you have enough guts to seriously call on God and make sure sexual temptation has no place? That’s the challenge we lift each other up to fulfill.
The final reminder is that we are not our own, but are bought with a price. That price was the very blood of Jesus Christ. Let’s not take what Jesus gave His life purchasing, and defile it for momentary pleasure. Sex is a big deal and so worth using in the good way God planned. NO COMPROMISE!
Discussion/Application Thoughts:
- Whenever facing a sexual temptation, fight it by quoting one of the verses above. (Yep, you’d have to memorize it!)
- If you are married, thank you wife TODAY for being one with you in your very soul.
- Question: Why is it even a temptation to jump the guardrail and careen off the cliff? What can we fill our minds with to not even go down that road?
- One last thought, if you were teaching your son or daughter to drive, would you prefer they get as close to the guardrails/cliff as possible, or keep as far from them as possible? How might that apply to us?
