Family Worship in My Life

This post was originally posted at Pierced Blog.

I have countless childhood memories of family devotions at home. Most every night of my childhood our family gathered in the living room to read from the Bible or a Bible storybook or a devotional of some kind.

Especially when my brothers and I were younger, we also sang songs and hymns. I can remember singing the song Give Thanks, and my brother Scott and I would run to our rooms and grab our wallets to illustrate the line “may the poor say I am rich.” And of course, we would flex our muscles for the line “may the weak say I am strong.”

And we would pray. Sometimes everyone would pray, sometimes just one person would pray. My brothers and I learned how to pray publicly at home. It was both taught and caught, but mostly caught.

This, then, is a memorial to my parents, for their desire to follow God’s Word and not leave biblical and theological training only to Sunday School and the worship service and AWANA and to Santa Clarita Christian School. Those places left indelible marks on me because of their faithfulness to the truth of the Bible, but I probably learned most about God from the intentional time my parents carved out every night to read, pray and sing.

Recently, my wife Amy and I have made a concerted effort to more faithfully attend to family worship in our home with our two girls. It is remarkable to me how many young people I talk to never had a dedicated family time to reading the Bible, singing and praying to God, which is why I raise the subject here.

And it is those three things (reading, singing, praying) that are stressed in two books I’ve recently read on Family Worship. One is Family Worship: In the Bible, in History and in Your Home by Donald S. Whiney. The other is A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home. In the next week I’ll be posting reviews of those books.

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Exercise Your Freedom!

4th_of_july_bbqHappy 4th men! Today is definitely a man’s holiday.  We get the day off work, get to BBQ, be with family, watch the Dodger game,  get to play with fireworks, and celebrate fighting for freedom!  (Do I hear any Braveheart yells here?)  Our family is even throwing swimming into the mix.  I challenge us to not make this day simply about entertaining ourselves.  That would be a waste!  In the midst of having a great day, celebrating the freedom to worship God without fear, and spending time with family and friends, remember that today is a wonderful opportunity to build relationships with our neighbors and friends that do not know Christ. Men, the reputation we have is that we don’t like conversation.  Well, there may not be an easier opportunity to talk with other men then when we are BBQing together.  Talk with your neighbors, get to know them, and don’t be ashamed of the Gospel! It is exactly what they need! Don’t waste today.

Need some ideas?

  • Don’t be afraid to pray – Let your neighbors see God through you by thanking God for freedom and praying before the meal for those in service of our country.  In conversations, ask if there was anything you could pray for them about.  This shows both care and faith.  I don’t think I have ever had anyone fail to appreciate this question.
  • Don’t be afraid to eat – I’m not saying to abandon all health conscious eating, but rather to see eating and enjoying the time as a spiritual activity.  Part of the process of reaching our neighbors ban be to eat together and have fun together.  Let them see God’s love through you as you entertain and show hospitality by feeding them and including them. Yep, part of sharing the gospel can be “Would you like a hamburger?”  and “Let’s set of fireworks.”
  • Don’t be afraid to talk – Conversations can start with simple questions like “Do you have any family plans this summer?” “How’s work going?” “How are your kids?” Then feed them and enjoy the time! We enjoy conversation when it involves things we enjoy.  Listen to your neighbors and ask questions on what interests them.  Men will talk about work, any projects they have, sports, and kids.  Be a great listener.
  • Don’t be afraid of spiritual matters –  In conversation, don’t be afraid to talk about going to church and your faith in God.  Take advantage of times when conversation leads that direction.  It will happen.  I have found that other men respect these conversations and often ask further questions.  Events like Second Harvest, the campout, youth camp, and VBS are great discussion points.  Our life in Christ is a normal part of life.  Be real about it and let it come up!  The Gospel will save their life.  That’s freedom.

May God give each of us divine appointments today to be focused on His purpose! Men, set this goal for your family and they will follow you. You set the tone.  Enjoy the 4th, be the church.

1 Tim 1:16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.

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Entrusted To The “Average”

His Purpose, Our Focus words

Earlier today I gave a book on leadership to a young man at our church.  As I gave it to him, I told him that I am entrusting him with this book and what he will learn from it.  He looked at me and said, “wow, that’s serious.”  I thought about that in light of our current sermon series, “Entrusted.”  That’s exactly what our response should be when God entrusts us with the gospel and the good fight.  “Wow, that’s serious.”

To be entrusted with something carries much more weight than simply to be given something.  To entrust is to place trust in someone for a task or the care of something.  It means to give to someone, trusting and believing that they will honor it.  I may give my son some play money and a nerf gun, but that is very different then my responsibility as a father being entrusted with the safety of and provision for my family.  These are very different things, but they help illustrate the depth of the word, “entrusted.”

1 Tim 1:18  This charge I entrust to you, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare,

Men, the truth that we have been entrusted by God with His message, His fight, and His equipping should be our call to arms.  This is serious!  Think seriously about 3 implications of being entrusted.

1.  The item being entrusted is valuable.  Paul tells Timothy that he has been entrusted with the gospel and the gifting to accomplish God’s purposes.  What is valuable to you?  Does that list include God’s work?  You have been uniquely and divinely equipped by the creator of the universe to accomplish his work.  Yet we often don’t give a second thought to what should be our primary thought: How can I fight the good fight for God?  This is the most valuable and significant thing we can do.  So, what is your calling?  And I don’t mean your career!  What has God sacredly entrusted you to do?

2.  God is trusting us by entrusting us.  Entrusted means to believe in or trust.  The Almighty God entrusts us with the most valuable news, the gospel which is the foundation for His church.  Think about that!  God trusts his sons.  Even with our failings and weaknesses, He entrusts us.  It isn’t the spectacular, incredibly gifted superman that God entrusts and calls, it is the average, faithful man of God.  You don’t have to grow to a point where you are ready to be entrusted by God, If you are a believer, you already are trusted and entrusted!  This is why we can step out in faith, takes risks for God, and allow Him to work.

3.  God equips those He entrusts.  To be entrusted with the fight assumes that we will fight the fight: that we will act on that trust.  It is a responsibility.  The good news is that the ability to fight the good fight is given by God through the work of the Holy Spirit.  We may be normal and consider ourselves “average,” but God uses faithfulness and the “average” in extraordinary ways.  It is His work and His equipping.  We will never get an impossible job from God.  However, we do have to step up and act on the trust given to us.  In 2 Tim 2:2 we read, “and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”  Being entrusted brings the responsibility to entrust others with the fight.  Perhaps we avoid discipleship by thinking we have nothing to offer and are not equipped to disciple someone else because we are ordinary.  Well, God does the equipping, He has already entrusted you with the task, and as a child of God, we are far from ordinary!  We can’t get out of this one.  This article gives a great example of how God uses the ordinary for extraordinary purposes.

Let’s take up arms and fight the good fight.  We are entrusted.  Wow, that’s serious!

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Family Devotions

family devotionsOne of the questions I often get asked is how to have family devotions.  Some of you are dealing with guilt over this issue and others are just trying to figure out how to get started.  I came across this article that was very helpful.  A Quick Guide to Family Worship.  Give it a read and get started with something!  Maybe it’s something when everyone gets up.  Maybe it’s right after dinner.  For my family, it’s right before bed and varies each night.  That’s ok!  Let’s make sure our wives and our kids see us praying, reading God’s Word, and worshiping our Savior.

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Showing Your Wife You Love Her

As men, we often gravitate toward some practical wisdom for applying truths.  This post has some great practical ideas for letting our wives know we love them.  We live with them in an understanding way when we find ways to reaffirm our love for them.  Take a read and try some out!

25-ways-to-show-your-wife-you-love-her

 

 

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Leading Your Family At Christmas

Hello men,

After a break for a time, we are looking forward to posting again.  I thought I’d start it off with a good article with some ideas for our leadership in our homes at Christmas.  Give it a read and let’s continue to lead our families!  Read it here.

 

 

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Discipline of Church – Ch. 14

In our reading together through Disciplines of a Godly Man, we now come to the section involving ministry.  In chapter 14, Hughes challenges us with our discipline of church.  How seriously do we view not only attending church, but supporting the church and being the church?  I grew up in a home where the church was held as a priority.  If the church was open, we were there.  I thank God for the discipline that my parents instilled in me.  I agree wholeheartedly with Hughes that we often mistakenly view our relationship with Christ as separate and compartmentalized from our relationship with His church.  Several quotes describe the attitude that exists in many Christians today.  “Church attendance is infected with a malaise of conditional loyalty which has produced an army of ecclesiastical hitchhikers.”  “You go to the meetings and serve on the boards and committees, you grapple with the issues and do the work of the church and pay the bills – and I’ll come along for the ride.  But if things do not suit me, I’ll criticize and complain and probably bail out.”  Church is far more than the sermon or a ministry that meets our needs.  It is a body – His body – that is dependent on each other and provides mutual accountability, discipline, and discipleship.  I believe that one of the reasons commitment to church has decreased is that we would rather avoid accountability, discipline, and discipleship.  As we live in community, our own flaws are exposed and that is extremely uncomfortable.  It becomes far easier then to point out others’ faults so that we don’t have to face our own growth areas.  The church suffers.  Our own growth suffers.  Our ability to reach the world suffers.   I was struck by Hughes’ description of trying to walk with God without the church is “to do battle single-handedly with the outlaw world.”

The church is vitally important to our relationship with Jesus Christ.  I don’t think it is very helpful to think of the church as our mother, but that does not negate the rest of Hughes’ argument that the church is essential to our walk.  Being a Christian without participation in the local church “is never contemplated in the New Testament.”  Men, do we see the church as vital to our growth and maturity in Christ?  Do we allow ourselves to be refined by godly leadership and fellow saints?  Our actions tell us what is important to us.

I enjoyed the various images for the church found in God’s Word.

  • We are Christ’s body and He is the head(Eph 1:22, 23)
    • He leads, we are dependent on Him and interdependent on each other
  • We are a temple (Eph 2:19-22)
    • The very dwelling place of God
  • We are living stones built on Him as the cornerstone (1 Pet 2:5)
    • To offer sacrifices of worship
  • We are the bride and Christ is the groom bringing us to His feast! (Eph 5:25-33)  (I love the chorus we sing with Come Thou Fount because it is one of the few phrases that brings this scripture to worship!)
    • To be pure and in union with Christ
  • We are sheep and He is the nurturing Shepherd (John 10:14-16, 25-30)
    • To follow Him
  • He is the vine, we are the branches (John 15:5-11)
    • He sustains everything we do.

This description leads us to a grand view of church.  It is God-created and sustained and will outlive this world.  Our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ will last for eternity!  As this view of the church pervades our worldview, we will love and yearn for the church.  Coming together is not a chore, but a joy and a commitment.  Hughes writes, “Men, on the most elementary level, you do not have to go to church to be a Christian.  You do not have to go home to be married either.  But in both cases if you do not, you will have a very poor relationship.”  So true!  And probably something we need to hear for both our discipline of home and church.

Hughes mentions several “growth-inducing benefits” of a commitment to the church:  Worship, hearing the Word, attendance at communion, and discipleship.  These are helpful and true, but we still must be careful of turning them into a list of things I want and deserve in a consumer mindset.  What are some of the other benefits of a commitment to church?  Comment below with some of them and lets add a bunch more.

So how can we exhibit our commitment to church?  Heb 10:24-25 reads, And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.  Hughes gives us five ways to be disciplined in our commitment to church.

  1. Regular Attendance – there are so many things fighting for our time, but we choose what is important.  “Your schedule ought to bow to your commitment.”
  2. Membership – Just as commitment changes everything in marriage (ask your wife!) it does so in a church body as well.  Membership is committing to support the church and submit to the church.  Both of these things hit us as men where we struggle with the temptations of self-centeredness and pride.
  3. Giving – Men, I challenge you to test and obey God in this area.  Commit to worshiping God with the first of what He provides, all that He provides, and see what He does in your spiritual life.
  4. Participation – Use your gifts and talents to serve God in His church.  If you are not sure what to do, call me!  We’ll figure it out together.  We need men training to be teachers of God’s Word as well.
  5. Love and prayer – We are to care deeply about our church family and lift them up in prayer.  Let’s mean it when we say, “I’ll pray for you.”

Those are a few ideas for how to be committed to the church.  I would be very interested to hearing your answer to the question posed at the end of the chapter.  “Why is the idea of church so unpopular today?”  What do you think.  Post your answers in the comments below.  The church needs men!  Let’s stand together to build God’s church.

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Discipline of Perseverance – Ch. 13

Have you noticed how many want to take the easy way out?  It is hard to find people who are willing to do hard work over a long period of time.  As we come to chapter 13, Hughes challenges us to run well and finish the race of walking with God, even if it is difficult.  He takes us to Hebrews 12:1-3.  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.   I love the imagery of witnesses at a race and the boost of energy that gives the competitor.  At our Friday night softball games, when the stands are full, the team has more energy.  (And we have the best fans in the city!)  The author is reminding us of all who have gone before and encouraging us to find strength in their witness.

The first point from these verses is to Divest!  We are to throw off hindrances and sin.  Both keep us from running the race with perseverance.  My fear is that I will not notice my hindrances and I will rationalize my sin.  Hughes gives us a number of examples to get us thinking about what might be a besetting sin that continues to be a weight on us.  Things like jealously, pessimism, lust, pride, anger, lying, and a critical, proud spirit can slip in a go undetected.  We must be disciplined to seek God and use the mirror of His Word to expose sin.  There is a powerful example of how sin can beset us in the Venus fly-trap.

“When the captive is entirely at the plant’s mercy, the edges of the leaf fold inward, forming a closed fist.  Two hours later, the fly is an empty sucked skin, and the hungry fist unfolds its delectable mouth for another easy entanglement.  That is a truly terrifying allegory.”

Hughes challenges us to name our sins before God.  We need to get serious about removing the things that hold us back as sin will trap us and suck us dry.  Try praying Psalm 139:23-24.  Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24       And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Did you pray that verse?  If not, I challenge you to do it now before you read on.  How serious will we be to not only deal with sin, but also hindrances.  We would never run a race carrying a backpack.

Hughes’ second point is to Run!  We need to keep running even if we are tired, discouraged, impatient, or just ready to quit.  Men, discipline means to keep going spiritually whether we feel like it or not.  When we struggle to pray or be in the Word, keep doing it!  Hughes words it this way, “The sense of biblical ‘perseverance’ is patient fortitude, patiently ‘gutting it out.'”  I appreciated the reminder that we all run different races.  It is sometimes hard to see someone “running” on flat, easy ground and not be envious and want to quit.  Each runner, runs where God has them and for His purposes.  Persevere with your walk.

The third point is vital: Focus!  We are to be “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”  As we walk with Christ through a fallen world, so many things want to grab our focus and attention.  We must diligently keep asking the question, “Am I looking to Jesus?”  “Am I doing all things for His glory?”  He was a perfect example of perseverance in the severest of trials as He looked to the Father for strength and saw the joy of doing the Father’s work.  Praise God He persevered and secured our salvation.  When we are going through the darkest times of our lives, we have the greatest opportunities to show Christ to others by keeping our focus on Him.  Learn from Peter and don’t let the waves capture your attention.  They are simply hurdles that Jesus will help you get past.  “Those who look away from Christ – the end and goal of our race – will not finish well.”  What purpose does God have for you right now?  How can He be using you for His glory?  That focuses our attention forward and helps us run.

The final point is Consider!  In verse 3, we are given the key to not following over exhausted in our walk.  We need to consider Christ and the opposition He faced.  How did He face them?  How did He persevere?  Why did He persevere?  Follow Him!

So how is your perseverance?  Are you tired in your faith or ready to run?  Remember to start by taking care of any sins or hindrances that keep you from maturing in your faith.  If you need to get another man to hold you accountable, do it!  We stand together and rarely alone.  Also, what does it really mean to fix your eyes on Jesus?  Think through your time and the things you think about.  What consumes you?  What are some practical things you do to fix your eyes on Jesus.  Comment below and share with each other ways we can focus on the goal and finish well.

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Discipline of Work – Ch. 12

Below is a guest post by Terry Hall, the chairman of VBC’s deacon board.

“I’m alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic!” How many of us wake up in the morning with this thought in mind? Even though this is a Girl Scout song learned years ago by our daughters, it is definitely gender-neutral when applied to our work… our “jobs”. If we took a poll at our place of employment, would those with whom we work describe our work ethic with this phrase?

Pastor Hughes describes “work” not as part of the curse which accompanied the fall, but as a mandate from God, an “immense dignity”. It is part of what we do, and who we are as human beings. The author describes post-Garden-of-Eden “work” more as nature being uncooperative (resulting in “painful toil”), than work in and of itself being inherently unrewarding and tedious.

From experience, we all know that work CAN be rewarding, even fun at times. When we exercise our talents by working in an area in which we are gifted (such as woodworking, mechanical trouble-shooting and repairs, writing, teaching, ….) we can experience the “dignity” and even a joy in our efforts. When we hike, we have discovered that no matter how magnificent the hike (our “work”) , some part of the hike is always “just labor” needed to complete the task . The same is true of our daily work routine. What we do at our jobs can be exciting and productive and adrenaline-producing. However, Scripture is quite clear the obligation of a man is to work and to provide for his family, even if the required tasks are less than fulfilling or glamorous:

2 Thessalonians 3:6, 10 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us….For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

1 Timothy 5:8: Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

The issue of how much priority to place on our work and our obligation to provide does not have a simple resolution…There are many items on the menu of “life priorities”: God, church, family, work, others, self…. If “providing” for our families includes teaching and modeling values and character in our families in addition to meeting their physical “needs”, how do we balance the various demands placed on a man who desires to follow Scripture and “provide” for his family? Even though it can be difficult to know how to adequately execute our duties, Scripture offers much in the way of principles to follow….

Deut 24:5: “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” The needs of a man’s family were given first priority when considering public duties, even military service.

1 Timothy 3: 4-5: “[The overseer] must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)”.

A man cannot accomplish this if he abdicates his husband and father responsibilities to others because he is too busy “providing” food & shelter while abandoning teaching and managing his family.

Titus 1:6: “ An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.

While a man’s adult children are responsible for their own behaviors and values, the man’s role in shaping his family’s value system should be reflected in his (the father’s) life priorities.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

This would involve being present for the sitting down and walking along the road, and the lying down and the getting up. Our households must be dedicated, leading by the example of servant leadership, to the eternal truths of Scripture. This cannot be accomplished in absentia.

One of my best summers as a youth was spent working with my dad between school terms. We spent almost 3 months working side by side. I watched and participated in his work. I was an eye-witness to his work ethic, his attitude, his behaviors, and his commitments not only to his work but to his family as well. As is the case with many fathers and sons, most of what I learned that summer was CAUGHT rather than TAUGHT. My father’s actions spoke much more eloquently and powerfully than thousands of instructional words. I learned from my father MUCH more than I could ever have hoped for if he, instead of modeling behaviors, handed me enough money to “provide” for me for a lifetime. Had these lessons not be learned early, I would be a much different man than I am today.

My dad’s work ethic also served as a witness of and to our Lord. Those with whom we worked knew that our family professed Christianity. Had our commitments to (in the author’s words) “energy, enthusiasm, whole-heartedness, and excellence” been marginal or lacking, our ability to reflect our commitment to our faith and to our God would have been compromised.

While there are many men in our community whose work reflects their commitment to God, a very recent example involved one of the men of our congregation. He has been doing some remodeling work at the home of a mutual acquaintance. When we visited the homeowner recently, the homeowner couldn’t wait to take us to the kitchen, and the dining room, and the bathroom, and the patio, and the pool, to show us the work done by our brother in the Lord. The words of the homeowner included, “fantastic”, “beautiful work”, “excellent”, “skilled”, “good”, “reliable”. This man’s work ethic most certainly impacted his client and reflected Paul’s admonition in his letter to the Colossians:

Colossians 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

In conclusion, God knew that Joshua (and men universally) would need this encouragement and reminder: “Be strong and courageous.” Joshua’s “job” was to lead the Israelites during challenging times. Joshua’s commitment to the task which God Himself had given him resulted in the following unshakeable resolve:

Joshua 24:15: “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . . But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

May each of us be just as determined as we lead our families.

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Discipline of Tongue – Ch. 11

James 3:5-6  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.   Chapter 11 focuses on the discipline of taming the tongue and using it for God’s glory rather than a tool of destruction.  As James warns us, taming the tongue is extremely difficult.  Hughes begins with an example of how powerful our words are.  “What power the written or spoken word has!  Nations have risen and nations have fallen to the tongue.  Lives have been elevated and lives have been cast down by human speech.  Goodness has flowed like a sweet river from our mouths, and so has the cesspool.”  We come to this chapter recognizing the power of the tongue in our own lives and in the lives of our families and all we come in contact with.

The verses from James above remind us of how much destruction the tongue can cause.  A small spark can create a huge forest fire with all of its damage.  Every year during fire season we hear of a fire started by a small spark.  The same is true of a small seemingly trivial ill-spoken word.  We see from the verses in James that Satan himself will use it to destroy.  Our destructive words are fueled by evil.  I can still remember some harsh words and the effects they had.  Those are painful lessons.

We see a number of ways the tongue causes damage.  The first is gossip.  Oh, gossip is so tasty to nibble on isn’t it?  As men, we may think of this as an issue with the fairer gender, but we also like to hear things and like to be in the know.  The sense of knowledge and power / control that comes with knowledge is very tempting for us.  Prov 18:8  The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. Be careful not to gossip and to stop others when they are gossiping about a situation you are not part of and don’t have any part in the resolution of it.  Beware of the “I’m telling you so you can pray” temptation.

Innuendo –  We may automatically jump to sexual innuendo which is extremely damaging to ourselves and the hearer in the area of purity, but innuendo also includes technically telling the truth, but in reality painting someone in a bad light.  “I won’t even tell you what I heard about  ________”  What was your first thought?  It was probably that I had heard something negative about a person.  In reality, perhaps it was something good and I’ve just painted someone in a bad light.

Flattery – “Flattery means saying to a person’s face what you would never say behind his or her back.”  Hughes is not suggesting that we don’t compliment people or encourage them, but rather not be deceptive or manipulative with it.  We are to be consistent in how we speak of people.  Are we serious enough to sing with the Psalmist, “May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts, 4 those who say, “With our tongue we will prevail, our lips are with us; who is master over us?”” (Psalm 12:3-4)

Criticism – “Fault-finding seems endemic to the Christian Church.  Perhaps this is because a taste of righteousness can be easily perverted into an overweening sense of self-righteousness and judgmentalism.”  This is a strong statement, but I believe a true one.  It is easy to find fault in what someone else is doing, but much harder to see it within ourselves.  We criticize to avoid our own weaknesses.  Men, do you find yourself first noticing faults and all the ways someone in their ministry or work could have done better rather than all the good they are doing for the kingdom?  This is sin!  It is not a talent, it is not a gift, it is not being administrative, it is being self-centered.  The root of a critical spirit is the belief that “I know best”  and “that’s not how I would have done it.”  This is not to say that healthy constructive feedback is not helpful.  Feedback is one of our traits of a servant leader at Village, but it is to be done in love, with fear and trembling and balanced with a healthy dose of encouragement.  I have seen many people with incredible potential for the kingdom of God derailed by a critical spirit.

Diminishment – We are not to speak in a way that runs down or diminishes another.  This can include some of the items above, but also includes when we use truth to diminish another.  Two quotes stood out to me.  “What people like this do not know is that most people are painfully aware of their own faults – and would so like to overcome them – and are trying very hard to do so.  Then someone mercilessly assaults them believing they are doing their spiritual duty – and, oh, the hurt!”  We can easily prevent the Holy Spirit from working by trying to be the Holy Spirit.  “Others imagine that their spirituality and sensitivity equips them to pull others from their pedestals and unmask their hypocrisies.”  Usually when I find myself doing this, it is my own hypocrisy that I am attempting to hide.  Don’t we usually come down the hardest in others on the very things we are weakest in?

Hughes then writes how the tongue reveals the true state of our walk. James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. ”  Like the man who wanted to hear what the pastor said when he hit his thumb with the hammer, our tongue away from church reveals our surrender to God.

The tongue also can be used to praise God and declare the gospel.  It is through the tongue that we can tell others how Jesus took our place on the cross and paid the price for our sins.  It is through the tongue and our relationships with each that we can speak God’s truth and help others in the process of sanctification.  We can encourage and bless others.  We can cast vision for our children.  We can worship God Almighty!  We can confess.  The tongue can be a mighty tool for God.  How have you used your words this week to glorify God?  You can speak words to your family tonight and use your words for God!  Hughes ends with a list of ways to discipline ourselves.

  • To perpetually and lovingly speak the truth in love
  • To refrain from being party to or a conduit for gossip
  • To refrain from insincere flattery
  • To refrain from running down another
  • To refrain from degrading humor
  • To refrain from sarcasm
  • To memorize (and quote) Scriptures which teach the proper use of the tongue.

and a couple of more

  • To get into the habit of speaking words of blessing and encouragement to our families and others.  (added)
  • To find ways to speak the truth of salvation to others.  (added)

Let’s be men that discipline our tongue and not let hell itself fuel it!

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