Do video games affect marriage?

This week, a sobering article came out from Focus on the Family.  It discusses that 15% of wives filing for divorce this year cited their husband’s play of video games as the primary cause.  Read the article here:   World of Divorcecraft

The stats should completely startle us and shock us.  That is three times higher than the prior year and it is a problem men.  It may not even be video games for you.  Perhaps it is sports, internet, TV/movies, or whatever else we use to pass our time and escape reality.  So allow me to vent a little on this one.

Ok, let’s get real about this.  Here are some of my thoughts as one who has played a lot of video games in my day and struggled to keep it under control.

• The issue is lack of self-control which is self-centeredness.  It is sin.  Don’t sugarcoat it.  Titus 2:11-12  “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age”
• To the young men that are reading this.  IT STARTS NOW.  If you can’t control your addiction to leisure now, you will not be able to under the pressures and responsibilities of marriage.  Be marriageable.  Any young lady considering marrying a young man in love with video games should wait until he can prove he loves God, her, and his family more than video games.  Actions speak louder than words.  Does he sacrifice time with God, you, church, or work to play games?
• Everything we choose to do should be evaluated by how it brings glory to God and contributes to the kingdom.  There is a place for entertainment as far as it helps us to be rested and prepared for serving God or helps us build Christ-centered relationships (hurray for Wii family time), but don’t fool yourself or rationalize that long hours mastering a game is doing either of these.  So ask yourself, am I using this time for God’s glory?          1 Cor 10:31  “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
• It is a zero-sum game.  Every minute we spend playing games or amusing ourselves is time taken away from our walk with God, wives, families, being productive, and being a soldier in spiritual warfare for the kingdom of God.  Count the cost before we count the points.  “Call of Duty” is not more important than talking with your wife or wrestling with your children.  Having a high score is not more important than being alert and ready to honor God the next day at work.   Eph 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”
• It is fake approval and success.  Men, we are wired by God to seek respect.  When we struggle to get that in real life, it is very tempting to seek that by getting a top score or beating someone in a game.  While it can be fun to master a video game, imagine mastering loving your wife or discipling your children.  True, it takes a lot more work, but every little success in those things has eternal value.  I know that I am drawn more to gaming when I feel like I’m not meeting expectations.  Resist this draw.  Seeking video games to meet this need only buries the real problem, does not allow God to meet needs, and increases the addiction.  I want to stand before God and hear “Well done good and faithful servant.” not stand before the gaming community and hear “great score.”   Matt 25:21 “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’”
• Building on the prior thought, video games often become an escape from reality and responsibilities.  Part of the curse is that work would be hard.  May we stand up and be men that fulfill our responsibilities and do not seek to escape them or escape being present for our God, our families, and our brothers and sisters in Christ.  1 Tim 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
• It is addictive, very addictive.  We like feeling good about ourselves without doing the hard work.  Enough said.
• Men who are married, your wives will only put up with being second to your leisure activities so long.  It wounds their inner spirits when we place them second to games.  Don’t destroy your marriage for amusement.
• If you are serious about keeping this under control, ask your wife how you are doing.  If you are not married, ask your mother or sister.  They know.  Then take their input.  I asked my wife tonight.  She knows I enjoy video games and the challenge from time to time, but she also knows and feels it when I spend too much time on them.  I trust her completely.
• Do whatever it takes to avoid this addiction.  Maybe it means cutting some power cords.  Maybe it means locking a computer or giving away a game console.  If you don’t take this seriously, you will waste the life God has given you and asked you to be a faithful steward of.  Matt 5:29-30 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

1 Cor 10:13  “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”